I'm disappointment I didn't get no sleep once again!!
I'm writing at 6:05am, only figures I'm the one who'd not get sleep!! Too many thoughts racing through my mind...I'm just very paranoid I've noticed lately...I get upset when my husband goes out with out me. I can't let my paranoid thoughts and hallutionations get to me or get the best of me...I need to get back to my doctor and let him know, that I'm havin' trouble sleepin' and havin' sounds of radio commerical run through my head as I got to sleep. I squeezed my squishy ball, watched modern marvels on my phone on youtube. Now I'm on my husband's laptop listening to music and typin' this blog..I got told to get recipes, so I do and when I do, I get told it takes too many ingredients this is exactly why I don't cook, when I find something I want to cook no one will get the ingredients!! REALY?!
I'm very excited that it's been two years me and my hubby been together...however been married two years as of September 5th 2015.
I'm very sad, missin' my babies..Izabellah,Julieyonnah,Zebriannah and JodeeMarie.
I love how my husband says you have to move on like it never happened!! It's easier said than done! When you're bonded with your kids, you've raised them the first part of their lives and went through the milestones with them it's not easy loosing your babies to CPS!!!
All I speak about is my girls more the stories of the older two, Bellah and Julie.When you talk about your past with others as you grieve over a loss of loved ones...it's not something you put behind you, it haunts you...
I feel like a failure..I feel I let my babies down, I promised "nothing while never seperated, nothing will parts us."
I'm gonna go take me a shower!! I gotta get sleep!!
l8ter
I'm writing at 6:05am, only figures I'm the one who'd not get sleep!! Too many thoughts racing through my mind...I'm just very paranoid I've noticed lately...I get upset when my husband goes out with out me. I can't let my paranoid thoughts and hallutionations get to me or get the best of me...I need to get back to my doctor and let him know, that I'm havin' trouble sleepin' and havin' sounds of radio commerical run through my head as I got to sleep. I squeezed my squishy ball, watched modern marvels on my phone on youtube. Now I'm on my husband's laptop listening to music and typin' this blog..I got told to get recipes, so I do and when I do, I get told it takes too many ingredients this is exactly why I don't cook, when I find something I want to cook no one will get the ingredients!! REALY?!
I'm very excited that it's been two years me and my hubby been together...however been married two years as of September 5th 2015.
I'm very sad, missin' my babies..Izabellah,Julieyonnah,Zebriannah and JodeeMarie.
I love how my husband says you have to move on like it never happened!! It's easier said than done! When you're bonded with your kids, you've raised them the first part of their lives and went through the milestones with them it's not easy loosing your babies to CPS!!!
All I speak about is my girls more the stories of the older two, Bellah and Julie.When you talk about your past with others as you grieve over a loss of loved ones...it's not something you put behind you, it haunts you...
I feel like a failure..I feel I let my babies down, I promised "nothing while never seperated, nothing will parts us."
I'm gonna go take me a shower!! I gotta get sleep!!
l8ter
